Browse the catalogue of Day-1 pornstars long enough and you're sure to end up finding women that treat getting hit with a couple of snowballs is akin to being put in front of a North Korean firing squad. And today my friends, there is no exception. More here.
Meme Porn: Sometimes it's about as exciting as an audio book of Ted Cruz customizing a value meal at Burger King. But throw in a guy with 2 moms, pay him in dollar-store pastries -- and suddenly you've got more fapping hours than you'll know what to do with.
Today's spread: a.) Famous fucktwats trying to cope with lack of attention b.) Historical tone deaf unawareness c.) Whatever final form Madonna has decided to mutate into. In other words - Three things to make your quarantine just a little bit worse.
Real? Deceptive editing? The Goku of premature ejaculation? I don't have the answer this time. But just imagine if he went even further with this talent. Plan-B's entire industry would need emergency funding.
I gotta emphasis the "sOcIaL eXpEriMeNt" you're gonna see at the 2:00 mark. Normally this attempt at public depravity would be immediately thrown into the compost pile for wasting our time. But I'm told this lunatic is legit, and has a history of freebasing randoms along her journey. You and your Zappos membership can be the judge of that.
Would Denmark Mafia be so kind as to turn the soundbyte at 0:24 into their next banger? That's the kind of collaboration that can fuel my beat-off sessions all the way into spring. More Woodman HERE and HERE.
Three years later and it seems [our boy] has ditched the mashed potatoes recipe and moved on to crafting a signature carne asada. ¿Felicidades mi amigo?
See that pretty face? Well, that's all you get because she's too busy getting seizure-fucked in the face by a cock raging french guy the entire clip to look at the camera. #rekt
The finest collection of eardrum destroying, vomit inducing orgasms you'll wish you never saw. Emphasis on the whole wishing you never saw this shit part. One dude nuts so hXc that he actually ruptures a fucking blood vessel and spurts red. 2.15 mark. You've been warned.
This is essentially a hybrid of THIS video + THIS video, or in more comprehensive terms: 3 parts female empowerment, 141 parts bat-shit fucking retarded. ENJOY.
AKA "how to ruin your reputation on a global scale." Usually it's a good thing if everyone gets laid at a party... but not when they all fucked the same chubby std collector.
Tori Spelling's Guatemalan tit job, the hole in a Walmart bathroom stall and discounted Hamburger Helper on Craigslist: Three things I'd touch before signing up for story time from Rebel "my brain is bigger than my butthole" Lynn ever fucking again.
