Return of the 18-year-old Anal Rookie

The World's Most Offensive Fetishes

Pretty much the most perplexing acts of genital manipulation I've witnessed since marathoning all 47 volumes of SSBBW Ivy and Friends Videos. My voice matters today more than ever before.

Blame it on Mother Nature

She's having problems of the ovarian variety and it's about to fuck your day up. My defense? eFukt lacks videos for the female demographic. You already know where this is going.

Cum Haters Anonymous 1

Marvel in the majestic awe of unwanted facials, oral insemination's from men lacking fruit in their diet and other tales of shifty cum dodgers. These girls hate jizz like I hate the season finale of Dexter.

Saving Sea Life

Watching [girls like this] bait the socially inept into a monthly subscription reminds me of a black widow documentary I once accidentally watched for 2 hours. All that's missing is David Attenboroughs voice and an invigorating supply of Cialis.

Cute and Disabled

Meet the Helen Keller of casual sex. At first I was like cool, another fake video I'm exposing my White Snake loincloth too... and then I realized this is 100% legit and should be in the first chapter of every sign language program in the country. Hit me up Rosetta Stone.

The Yusaf Mack Video

Badass thug boxer guy mysteriously shows up in a gay porn video and everything just goes crazy. Yusaf claims he went to fuck bitches but he got the cosby martini instead. LOL. More of Yusaf Getting pounded here.

WIFE CAUGHT WITH 3 GUYS

OOPZ, LOST TEH DILDO

Losing an 8 inch dildo in in a girls ass can have some consequences beyond fecal flavoring. If you can't get it out, the shoot is over and it's an awkward trip to the hospital with an unhappy porn star.

How to Ruin Your Vagina

Yeah sure, looks neat now... but wait for the follow up video in a year when the labia is hanging like two flappy pancakes with weird scar-holes looking like some shit outta Hellraiser.

The Obliteration of Female Genitalia

This little work of art is the accumulation of a pretty teen getting butt fucked and throated, set to music.

18 Year Old's First Scene Ends Horrifically

It's not like Woodman sending 18 year old girls to the Depends section at Super Walmart is some sort of secret, so one has to question the motives at this point. Is it an act? Are they sadomasochists? And most importantly: If Ronda Rousey were to crowbar her vagina open, would it be comparable to the consistency of pulling apart a peanut butter sandwich?

Mom Goals

Who the fuck comes up with these hybrid fetish flicks? Next time you producers want to get creative, how about coating a machete in Zoloft and fucking Logan Paul up the cornholio until he's smiling like Matt Damon on the cover of Good Will Hunting? Google it.