A proud self-identified "throat goat" with self-destructive blowjob skills attempts total sexual suicide via co-stars penis. I like this bitch, she's fucking crazy.
Outside of ejaculating to Nicolas Cage's death scene in The Wicker Man, no male celebrity will bring you remorse quite like Simon 'Dirt Nasty' Rex. Former MTV VJ, rolls with Andy Milonakis... and 20 years ago he took a $100 payday to stick his dick in Zack Morris' bedroom carpet. [Diss Track by Traplord Skybaby]
We're about to document the dream of a girl that's had more sexual partners than Tom Brady's 2022 passing yards, or create the gentleman's guide to recreational pharmaceutical use. Either way: NO REFUNDS.
We're all too familiar with premature ejaculators, but what about latent ejaculation? Watch as she starts cumming an entire minute after intercourse is completed without even being touched. WTF?
Sickening. Abhorrent. And honestly? Offensive. Now that we're done reviewing the second season of The Last Of Us, we can watch this. Emmy nominations across the board.
This girl might as well be the Napoleon Dynamite of fetish videos. (read: perfection). Doesn't even need to be penetrated. Just watching life flash before her eyes in between each fault line cracking was enough to keep my Fruit of the Looms soggy.
Based on a true story about a peanut butter sandwich, the dangers of masturbating, and how Aunt Opal made her nephew a man. A man with issues needing life long therapy, but a man none the less.
The 70's were a special time in history where no one gave a fuck. Smoking in hospitals, untamed pubes, sexually harassing midgets at the workplace, and faking a cum shot with a limp penis and shampoo? No problem. Nothing was sacred.
Alright fellas, [-take a memo on your Newton-]: If girls aren't flocking to your Levi's like 1 star reviews to the newest Disney remake, then this might be in your future. Just keep track of those subscription fees so reality doesn't hit harder than 1996 did to Robert Downey Jr.
Lulz tier verbal diarrhea from the worlds top experts. It's a good thing emotional scars aren't visible on the outside or some these girls would look like Freddy Kruger.
