Actually, I lied. She's nothing I'd want to fuck, nor is there legitimate contempt for her peter heater. She's raisawetsx - gifter of original content and cervical prize fighter. Moral of the story: Never underestimate a Russian's pain threshold.
No, seriously don't. Every once in a while pornography life overlaps into real life lessons. Let's just be glad this learning experience was made possible without the assistance of Czechoslovakian accents, and a petting zoo.
If there's a book out there on what NOT to do during intercourse, I'd say this dude just paved the way for a fucking trilogy. Nevermind his Rosie O'Donnell-like figure, or his unsettling fetish for floppy disks. The real prize is at the 2.48 mark. Ladies and gentleman, this motherfucker just single-handedly brought back Planking.
These porn producers, always so preoccupied with if they could, but never stopping to wonder if they should. I can't even imagine how awkward this scene must of been to film for everyone involved.
Bridge piercing, stomach tattoos and the occasional rush to the emergency room for soft tissue damage. May I be so bold to say I haven't seen this level of intensity since The Shining.
A dozen volumes and all we can learn is a two-pack of Coors Light gives the confidence one needs to perform like a deranged circus animal. But today? That education is free. Practice what you see here and I promise them size 14 Bumble girls will never "lmao" at you again. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-] [-8-] [-9-] [-10-] [-11-]
Meet Luciana. aka Timea Bella. aka Indisputable Liar. She claims her stink whistle has less mileage on it than the Peloton in Ozzy Osbourne's basement, yet doesn't even call a timeout when Woody goes straight to the A. But when it comes time to sample some French vanilla, she calls it quits. Stay tuned for part 2 where I'll showcase her triumphant comeback.
If anything this is worth watching for the C-level acting job done by Tunaboat Tommy and his goof fuck costar. I've seen better presentations from dropouts of the Macho Man Community College of Performing Arts. #oohyeah
Some women that happen to look like rejected "Lord of the Rings" characters find themselves in a cheap hotel room, making a porn movie so atrocious that even the producer wouldn't show up to film it.
Today's female is too nervous to upload a 13 second video without more filters than Monterey Bay Aquarium . Then... there's this queen. Who has clearly run out of fucks to give somewhere between the 9th and 400th Denny's Super Slam breakfast special. Order now.
Guys coming up short, Increasing Japan's tourism, Why not to go organic, Offending white college students and Incredible acts of self-reliance. This compilation covers more bases than Harvey Weinstein during a 3-day trip to the Bahamas.
