Rough Sex Accident

This 'top quality' penthouse hotel porn gets awful real fast. Some say his dick is too big, others say her holes are too small. If you were to ask me I would say LOLOLOL.

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Uncle Dick-Dont-Fit

Sonuva bitch... dude's packing the kind of penis that can only be described as "an emergency every time I have to take a piss". Time to call up AARP and find out what size wheelbarrow they're willing to cover for this kind of disability. Something in a dual-wheel polycarbon should do it.

ILLEGAL in 194 Countries

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Turtling While 69'ing LOLOLOL

Pug-faced Hispanic drinks herself so numb she doesn't even notice when last night's chimichanga is hanging halfway out her asshole. Her laugh is as bad as her hygiene. Sounds like something Steven Urkel would emit while making love to the dude from Wonder Years. Watch this one all the way through.

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Her G-Spot Is In Her Butthole

This actually starts off as a painal vid, but much like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acting career, that only lasts for about 14 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure, and by 'pleasure' I mean nervous system-disabling assgasms so hot even Stephen Hawking would pop wood.

Calling an Audible

Perhaps 'audible' is the wrong word to use here, as it suggests this misfit anticipated the scene going any other possible way. She didn't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night - I know what I'm talking about.

09/28/17 Throated Fail

First Scene, Last Scene

2002-2004. An era of professionally produced pornography that should probably be forgotten. Not a single penetration was made, yet I feel like I've been fucked by spare tires and empty cans of Busch Light after sitting through this atrocity. The line dropped at 2:30 really makes you wonder how many Marlboro Miles these guy were paid for the scene.

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This Doesnt Make You Good At Sex

Not since the 2005 release of 1 Night In Chyna have I seen a woman with such a fucked up misunderstanding of eroticism. She grunts like pirate with stage 4 throat cancer, pisses all over the place, and has a finishing act that'll assfuck your brain cells.

8 Uncomfortable Moments

Consider this an open letter to the content creators out there: I will donate the $13.75 I made trading Krypto Kittys with down syndrome to a charity of your choosing, in exchange for promising to never use condiments on your wiener ever again. The balls are in your courts.

05/18/23 Fail

Pure American Immorality

goon cave [plural goon caves] [Internet slang] An area or room dedicated to long masturbation sessions ["gooning"], often featuring a multi-monitor setup showing multiple pornographic contents simultaneously.


That's what Wikipedia tells you. What it doesn't tell you is some of these level 5 knuckle busting crotch goblins will bulldoze their entire savings account just to "expand their caves". So why are Americans singled out in the title? Because after being assaulted by over 500 photos of these demons, I noticed something; Not 1 Asian, Black, Hispanic or Alaskan Eskimo penis could be identified. Meaning this is yet another one of those spirited hobbies cultivated by the west. Feel free to sandwich it between 40 piece McNuggets and The Kardashians. [SOURCE #1] [SOURCE #2]

12/18/23 Gallery
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