Creating the Perfect Woman

2,101,653 views

There's just no forgetting you did something like this. Their throats will be forever agaped. The chronic oral queefing has already set in. They're essentially walking, talking whoopie cushions and yet... they remain in good spirits. I like dat in a partner.

Uploaded 09/08/18 LULZ

machine, bondage, deepthroat, blowjob, sloppy

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I DON'T EVEN

I don't have words for this. So instead, I will quote Ian Watkins of the band "lost prophets" and say this is "mega lulz".

2,589,560 views 03/08/15 LULZ

Consider this an open letter to the content creators out there: I will donate the $13.75 I made trading Krypto Kittys with down syndrome to a charity of your choosing, in exchange for promising to never use condiments on your wiener ever again. The balls are in your courts.

1,018,380 views 05/18/23 Fail

Dismantling an 80lb Pornstar

This girl might as well be the Napoleon Dynamite of fetish videos. (read: perfection). Doesn't even need to be penetrated. Just watching life flash before her eyes in between each fault line cracking was enough to keep my Fruit of the Looms soggy.

1,742,002 views 09/13/21 LULZ

The Worst Male Orgasms EVER 1

Door Dash your chimichangas and fire up the Demi Lovato playlist, for you are about to witness the pinnacle of peak male performance. Not since the 2017 inauguration have I heard this many vegan-powered war cries go unanswered lol

2,152,530 views 06/01/19 Ridiculous Orgasms

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 6

The only time I've seen self-harming determination this powerful was in the /terraluna subreddit. And much like the ability to ejaculate to one of these anomalies, I think it's time to pack it up and admit defeat boys. disclaimer: This is not financial advice [you retard].

1,077,867 views 06/30/22 Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar

Hey Daddy, look what I can do!

Any college girl can pull off a DP, but to pull off near mythical feats of penetration you need a chick that's on a whole other level of promiscuous. Take Malibu Barbie over here, she can't even tell how many cocks are in her at any given time.

4,438,149 views 08/05/13 Elegant Angel LULZ

Awful Moments in Internet Pornography

A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for costars in Craigslist's general section. If their intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols probably will.

1,241,360 views 01/05/23 LULZ

Increase Orgasms While Committing Murder [5 Easy Tips]

Somewhere there's a porn writer that has lost their damned mind.

1,832,617 views 02/08/17 Kink.com LULZ

How To Get Banned on Every Platform

Here it is; The most requested female I've had since broken butthole dream girl. Her name is Bella Nasty, and she's the only person to ever complete the hat trick challenge in front of a live audience. Ultimately leading to perma bans on Chaturbate, MFC and Stripchat. Let's go.

1,485,607 views 09/04/23 Crazy

Crushed Dreams Of Porn Stardom

For the greater good of porn these basement dwelling wannabe's need the Lassie treatment. These guys thinking they have what it takes to be porn stars makes as much sense as the story line for "Sharknado".

3,696,555 views 07/18/13 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Jimmy the Virgin Becomes a Man

Just what in the fucking Doogie Howser, M.D. are we witnessing here? I'd give him the big W for going the distance... but no amount of THOT slaying in the world is going to change the unfortunate genetic make up of that boogie board he calls a body. Congrats?

1,742,109 views 07/21/21 Bangbros Virgins