The Internet Never Forgets

Sexually Inexperienced And Terrified

True Blood's Sukki has a ratchet doppelganger that attempted porn and totally hated it. Her debut goes about as smoothly as a psoriasis break out... But unlike psoriasis she never came back and wasn't seen again.

THIS WON'T LAST 24HRS

Awkward Moments In Porn 6

Auto-fellaters, Braingasms and a straight up public service announcement fists should only be use in a boxing ring. Today's episode is more unforgiving than my local mall security that time I was discovered defecating in Anthropologie's Aromatic and Ambiance fragrance section.

The Worst of OnlyFanz III

Tripling down on a sub-culture that has defied all odds and normalized paying for content less interesting than giving Betty White 15 unsupervised minutes with a lawn sprinkler. These hype machines never seem to deliver. But the ones that come up really short? These might get a nut or 5 out of you. [PART I] [PART II]

OOPZ, LOST TEH DILDO

Losing an 8 inch dildo in in a girls ass can have some consequences beyond fecal flavoring. If you can't get it out, the shoot is over and it's an awkward trip to the hospital with an unhappy porn star.

WRONG HOLEZ: 2023

The only appropriate video to post on a day where the family gathers to stuff orifices.

Size ALWAYS Matters

Great box. Decent tits. But fall into whatever wet dream they paid her $47.00 to roleplay in here and you'll be left with a ball bag more shriveled than Iggy Pop. It's a sexual combination that doesn't seem to concern these freaks. Big Cringe = Big Dollas. And Big Dollas = Unlimited Crest White Strips. You'll see.

Awkward Guy Ruins Porn Shoot

A socially inept goober gets a job getting jerked off by a hottie and manages to fuck it up, dashing his dreams of porn stardom in the process. It's like the movie Rudy, if Rudy was thrown out the game before ever playing and never scored.

O MY FUKING GAWD

OMFG

Shit Pornstars Say 4

I imagine this is what happens when all of your knowledge of the English language comes from Pizza Hut commercials and TikTok. In fact, I may have just uncovered a form of communication so useless that California colleges might start offering 4-year degrees in it.

When Fapping Goes Wrong

Although this scene of Gianna Micheals finger banging herself had to be cut short after only 4 mins, Gianna proves once again how badass she is and just finishes the scene best she can.

Diet WIN

She's got a unique look. It's two parts concentration camp, one part Glamour Girls. If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.