PROOF: The Gender Pay Gap is Bullshit

Painful Moments in Anal Sex

It's that time again. The blurring of that line between majoring at a community college and female independence as illustrated by a sex act that's lead to more adult diapers than In n' Out's Animal Style. Never before has adult entertainment made me proud of the reward points I earned shopping exclusively at Walgreens.

Anal Won't Make Me Quit!

Girls this determined to finish are hard to find without an Olympian background, so consider yourself lucky. Both for getting to bear witness to this unstoppable force, and for not having to be the one to explain the beef bourguignon shit stains on mom's new comforter.

18 Year Old Suffers O-Ring Blowout

Don't worry, in a few days she'll be sitting and shitting normally. Just gotta put some icy-hot on her hurt butt and eat a lot of fiber. No worries.

11 Inches vs. Teenage Butthole

There's something truly endearing about a girl that takes the Secret of the Ooze Super Shredder of BBCs, then double downs on being a stable human being. Her talents scream "3 more months of practice and my asshole will out-perform any South American footlocker".

SHUT UP AND FUCK MY FRIEND!

The Only Olympics I'm Watching in 2024

I wasn't intending on the ambiguous crossover of Tokyo and The Kentucky Derby to make my boner list... yet here we are.

Real 18 Year Old Sister's Anal Assault

At first I thought the same as you; What Tim Burton movie did Ice Spice crawl ass backwards out of? Immediately followed by wondering why Sofa "diapers at 23" Weber would subject her own flesh and blood to the [first] dirty donut bulldozing we saw. Evolution is a mystery.

Anal Virgin Almost Has A Breakdown

Meet Luciana. aka Timea Bella. aka Indisputable Liar. She claims her stink whistle has less mileage on it than the Peloton in Ozzy Osbourne's basement, yet doesn't even call a timeout when Woody goes straight to the A. But when it comes time to sample some French vanilla, she calls it quits. Stay tuned for part 2 where I'll showcase her triumphant comeback.

The 6 Levels of Cringe

Many a question will arise while shuffling through this one, but none more important than whatever comes out of your mouth around the 3:30 mark. Don't worry, you're not alone. I don't fucking know either.

20-year-old "Sex Pro" Can't Anal

Not old enough to leave Food Lion with a 6-pack of Bud Light, but she's already carrying a body count that would make a frat house blush? You'd think by the semi-centennial cock that went 1v1 with DM-TrainTrackFace she would've learned to fertilize the backyard. But... nope.

8 Uncomfortable Moments

Consider this an open letter to the content creators out there: I will donate the $13.75 I made trading Krypto Kittys with down syndrome to a charity of your choosing, in exchange for promising to never use condiments on your wiener ever again. The balls are in your courts.

Cum Hater vs. Gangbang

Much like Tyler Perry going 30 seconds without filming a Medea movie, you can literally see the rage in this chick's eyes. Emphasis on the 0:34 mark with the realization that the $17.50 she just made will barely cover the Clearasil bill.