Married women, disloyal men and Skid Row's finest doing their impression of BBC's Mating Rituals of the Brazilian rain forest. Unfortunately not narrated by David Attenborough.
Here it is: The grand finale in a long line of degenerates who value their integrity less than that chicken sandwich everyone is getting german suplexed over. Especially the last clip. I haven't seen determination like that since the Epstein Didn't Kill Himself meme.
Flipping the Minnow, Clubbing the Chimp, Procrastabating, Shaking Hands with Bruce Willis - Call it what you want. I refer to it as the only reason to leave the house other than to stock up on Mr. Pibb and fried dough. Shoutouts to feminism for empowering these women.
Admittedly these are all pretty standard 'i drank 2 entire Coronas on spring break and had sex with a house plant' plot lines... but dude in the last clip has some explaining to do. Like, this is why I have to wear diapers at 27-years-old kind of explaining.
A five minute crash-course on how to squeeze every moment out of your favorite side piece, as illustrated by the shameless, the morally-deprived, and the defenders of all things Insane Clown Posse. It's priceless information really. Trust me on this one.
A laptop dancing internet stripper takes her fapping to the streets. Only problem is a viewer tipped off building security and her guerrilla sexual tactics are gonna get cut short.
Mike Tyson and Beetlejuice's retarded offspring attempts to prove to the world via social media that his GF is in fact a girl. I'm not entirely convinced, seeing that her penis is larger than mine.
This piece highlights some cases of shoulda locked the fucking door but I'm thinking with my genitals and other hilarious cases of people getting busted.
Early model Dodge Caravan and intermediate family member not required. Just find yourself an open stretch of highway, enable cruise control, have the female shimmy on over and let the greasing of your piston begin.
Downside of being 26 and still living at home: everytime youre about to unload some nutsack chutney onto your GF's face., momma comes a knockin! And of course there's always the other end of the spectrum - mom's with foot long dongs but no time to use em.
Two dudes fuck with their friend just as he's about to dick down some female in the backseat of his mom's Ford Taurus. Shot from dual angles for dual humiliation.
Grandpa Willy's sexual escapade is derailed after the Mrs. makes an unexpected visit to his dungeon of spunk. After unleashing a fit of rage, a wild herd of Ukrainian hookers appear out of nowhere and make a run for the front door. One doesn't seem to make it. LOL.
This is rather odd. I mean the dude gets caught pissing on the face of his 20 year old girlfriend by a lady older than the first black and white TV and doesn't even bother to cover up. For a solid 10 seconds the old hag just stands there eyeing his cock. There's no embarrassment. No dialogue. Just one baffled senior citizen trying to make sense of a contemporary sex act.
Really now, I've been caught doing worse things on the job. K-Mart, January 2002, thirty minutes before closing, pet food aisle. Me, Mrs. Dilworth and a 2 foot lava lamp straight out of the display case. Use your imagination.
This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.
From what I've read there is a longer version of this floating around somewhere. If any of you have it - hit me up! I have a sneaking suspicion that someone ends up getting their ass kicked.
