18 Year Old Barely Survives Anal Rampage

At first I was positive this was the same woman that keeps invading my Instagram feed with videos about blowing circus clowns and publicly shaming herself for having the vaginal odor of a Sudanese outhouse. But her (un)puckered starburst having the towing capacity of a Dodge Ram 3500 proved otherwise.

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Awkward Moments in Porn 8

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OK SO WHOSE NEXT?!

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36 Inches, No Fears

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Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 5

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Anal Sex Cures Everything

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Educating a Glory Hole Rookie

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The Worst Threesome Ever Filmed?

Of all the story lines you could choose, expedited shipping would be last on my fucking list. Then again, so is paying autistic girls in gift cards to round out your threesome so maybe I don't see the vision. Perhaps decades of inbreeding and limiting toothbrush ownership to 1 per home has carved itself into a niche I can only describe as: Inflation-Friendly Walmart Porn.

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♫ Lucky for me I'm not like those girls
♫ Who only take it all for granted
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