Shit lady, as much as I loved you in the finale of Army of Darkness, I really think I could've lived without seeing you get fucked cross eyed by Oscar De La Hoya. This shit nearly left my cock inverted.
You know it's a hooker cause who else puts on a rubber just for s'ing some d? And you know it's his first time cause... well, just look at his face. Just one touch of his penis and he turns into Quasimoto with Asperger syndrome.
Bukkake is pretty straight forward. Aim for the face and let the protein shake rip. Easy peasy, unless of course you're a 300 pound ginger named Corn. 40 attempts and the best this gluten can do is make a wet spot in the corner. Fucking hilarious.
Tim Hortons. Some go for the coffee. Others go just to fuck in the parking lot. This couple prefers to do both.. and in opposite order. First the wifey is doused in jizz. Then they hit up the drive thru for burgers and show n' tell - with her face still covered cum of course.
Tory Lane has two rules. Dont touch her tattoos & dont beat the shit out of her face. Talk about high standards.. but this fiery eyed slut isnt fucking around . One of her costars decides to test her anyway, resulting in a brief but epic rage quit.
The one time Japan decides to not censor the genitals... they cast a girl with a Saarlac for a twat. Didn't see Return of the Jedi? Here's an alternative metaphor: Imagine Gene Simmons face, mouth ajar and tongue extended, reincarnated as Yoko Ono's twat. That ought to do it.
Todays learnings: homeless people have yellow semen, 400 pound fluffers are counterproductive, line cutting at bukakke shoots is socially acceptable, and watching female photographers belittle Hispanic participants is strangely erotic. That's that.
This video taught me two things. 1) eating Subway prior to apocalyptical throat fucking yields hilarious results and 2) CGI will not be necessary in any future Exorcist projectile vomiting scenes. Shananay's got it covered.
Big fat curved penis sends a fresh wad of home cooked Twinky filling right back into the face of it's creator. It's not a problem I expect to incur any time soon but I do retain faith in the bottle of Extenze my sister so kindly purchased me last xmas. Similar videos HERE & HERE.
Downside of being 26 and still living at home: everytime youre about to unload some nutsack chutney onto your GF's face., momma comes a knockin! And of course there's always the other end of the spectrum - mom's with foot long dongs but no time to use em.
Short compilation of Chloe Camilla's most over the top, ear deafening climaxes. I really wanna know... is this shit fake? or is it considered normal to perform half assed Taekwondo mid-orgasm?
Dude's boner flatlines after getting bitched out, mid-fuck, by some uppity black slut that cant even handle a love tap. From there on it's a war of words and lemme tell you... this dumbfuck doesnt know many. Literally 2 and a half sentences into it and she's already facepalm'ed the fuck out.
Another one of those videos where some pornstar is left flopping around like Terri Schiavo on speed after experiencing the Optimus Prime of all orgasms. This chick takes it a step further, introducing Human Bobblehead Mode at the 1:55 mark. All sorts of awesome.
Slut junkie reminisces about her previous employer - some Screech-looking motherfucker that literally blew a $100,000 inheritance entirely on prostitutes hired for nothing more than to eat Taco Bell and deficate on his face. In other words.. dude's a legend.
German dude gets blasted in the face by a fat wad of his own man sauce and nearly pukes all over himself. I guess this kinda invalidates that saying "everyone loves their own brand" haha.
Dude shoves his junk in the wrong chicks face. First she smacks his cock like a cheap pinata, then follows up with an ashtray to the face. Quite a feisty bitch. I think somebody put their tampon up the wrong hole.
This is rather odd. I mean the dude gets caught pissing on the face of his 20 year old girlfriend by a lady older than Jesus and doesn't even bother to cover up. For a solid 10 seconds the old hag just stands there eyeing his cock. There's no embarrassment. No dialogue. Just one baffled senior citizen trying to make sense of a contemporary sex act.
Ashley Blue gets tossed to the ground after flaunting her diseased twat in the wrong girl's face. I'm afraid that canned tuna / Wisconsin aged cheddar aroma just ain't for everyone.
