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The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,495,753 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

Wait She Just Sucked Your Dick...

Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Kinda faggoty right? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going. Then grab on to your lady's face and forcefully make out with her. Don't let her squirm away. It's imperative that she has a taste of her own medicine.

1,411,175 views 12/21/08 Mildly Retarded

Mr. Holland's Opus

Never saw the movie but the title is the very first thing that comes to mind everytime I see a gaping vagina. Not sure why.

394,892 views 12/15/08

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

2,881,939 views 12/14/08 Fail

He's Not Exactly Pornstar Material

I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.

2,117,955 views 12/13/08 LULZ

BOOM! Your Ass Is Busted!

What happens when you put a huge cock and a tiny asshole together and shake it up a whole bunch? Prolapsicus maximus, that's what. I never finished med school but it's my professional suggestion that she pick up a pack of band-aids on the way home.

2,597,926 views 12/12/08 Fail

Amputee Porn Gone Bad

All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.

2,459,706 views 12/10/08 Amputee

No, I Will Not Fuck You

I want to be like this guy. I want to have woman begging for my cock and me be all like "lol no, slut" but I just don't see this happening. I mean right now I get rejected by everyone, including prostitutes (yes, even the black ones) so I don't know what the fuck to do. Maybe one of you will beg for my cock? C'mon, it's Christmas. Let me penetrate your holiday spirit.

1,489,596 views 12/09/08 Amateur

Quite Possibly the Worst Stripper Ever

I like his Chuck Norris style somersault but I have mixed feelings about the use of chocolate syrup. Sure it'll easily mask the bitter taste of her cornhole but in the end how's he gonna be able to differienate syrup from shit? It's a dangerous game that salad tossing is.

1,367,534 views 11/10/08 Strippers

His Dick Wasn't Big Enough

When your penis just can't get the job done, you gotta resort to other body parts. The fist is the limb of choice for most of those big-pussied sluts, but of course there's always gonna be some with even more demanding needs. In this video the guy uses his foot, but keep in mind you can always skull fuck them too. Just shave your head 1st for the sake of hygiene.

1,764,451 views 11/07/08 Insertions

Cleaning Has Never Been More Fun

Fuck, that's a hell of a way to mop a floor. It's inspiring really. So how exactly would one apply this kind of creativity to cleaning up their bathroom? I've got shit stains on my toilet dating back from 1997 and the only way I'm gonna get off my ass and do something about it is if it involves a naked woman.

2,321,509 views 11/03/08 Bizarre

How To Fuck Like A King

Damn. I could really use some service like this. At 325 pounds, I'm lucky if I can even find my cock, let alone put it to use. Sign me up for 2 whores, along with 4 beefcakes to handle all movement.

2,230,653 views 11/02/08 LULZ

Fattest Pussy Ever

Her vagina looks a lot like a baseball mit, same color too. If you're gonna be 69'ing her with you on bottom, do yourself a favor and bring along a snorkel.

1,612,475 views 10/24/08 Beef Curtains

The Creampie

Nothing says revenge like like mixing bodily fluids into the foods of others. Think about how much spit, piss, shit and semen you've unwittingly ingested at the hands of motherfuckers like this. Processed food 4 life.

1,784,533 views 10/13/08 Bizarre

Senior Citizen Attempts 'Rough Sex'

Anally penetrating a Ukrainian hooker while watching Mrs. Doubtfire has been on my to-do list for ages, but it looks like this crazy motherfucker beat me to it. Oh well, I'll still always be the 1st person ever to receive a blumpkin whilst playing Command & Conquer: Tiberian Dawn. Wasn't easy.

5,949,600 views 10/12/08 Amateur

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

1,589,219 views 10/04/08 Modifications

Drunken Slut Has Hilarious Disaster

First off, this chick is drunk off her ass, and I mean that in a literal sense. She had a gallon of wine.. directly through her asshole. Now I always thought it was fun to poo on the floors of public restrooms, but this lady takes it to an all new level. If you've ever played Command & Conquer, think of her anus as the Ion Cannon.

2,167,112 views 09/18/08 LULZ

Two Feet Of Pain

He's got me beat by like one inch. Okay maybe more like 23 inches. I couldn't even satisfy a midget. But where I lack in size, I make up for with class and charm.

3,551,891 views 09/04/08 Big Dicks

Bruno Stop Sniffing Her Pussy

Just imagine if that was an unneutered Golden Retriever... I think wifey would've quickly gained a strong understanding of the term "unwanted threesome".

1,782,083 views 08/29/08 LULZ

Pornstar Ruins Her Boob Job

Silicone is gonna start leaking out her nipples and in 3 days she'll be back to an A cup. I think that makes this the cheapest breast reduction surgery ever.

1,482,175 views 08/19/08 Fail
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