Twice as many as five porn scenes that leave you with more questions than answers and more confusion than boners. [Full Scenes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10]
This piece highlights some cases of shoulda locked the fucking door but I'm thinking with my genitals and other hilarious cases of people getting busted. More cam whores HERE. Intermission song HERE.
An awkward 120 LB man-child thinks he has what it takes to make his porn debut with a pornstar that can't math. But even with the deer in headlights look in his eyes, he somehow pulls off the incredible. FULL SCENE HERE.
When an Azn teenager is reluctant to finish getting ass fucked, it's this guy's cue to utilize a pro-wrestling style submission maneuver and ride it home. Featuring acting so good Kirk Cameron would shed a single tear. MORE.
My biggest turn on ever is Asian girls with stupid adorable accents and at least a B cup. This one ups the ante and sets a new standard. Kind of like Subways new Fritos stuffed crunchy chicken enchilada melt. I gotta get me one of those! FULL VIDEOS HERE.
Jackass-inspired stunt involving a weapons-grade slingshot and some cactus goes horribly right when the target, (a gypsy woman's anus), is met with a direct hit. And now I'm met with a direct boner. Circle of life. FULL VIDEO HERE.
There's 3 things that simply no longer exist in my world: 1.) pornography induced erections 2.) positive feedback on my 'this is what a feminist looks like' tee and 3.) dinners at P.F. Changs that do NOT result in 1st degree burns to my anus. This vid solved 2 outta 3. FULL VIDEO HERE.
Never have I seen a man do something so incredibly vile with such charm. Where there's tension, he provides laughter. Where there's pain, he provides comfort. And where there's feces on the tip of his penis... he provides dinner. Song HERE and 40 MINUTE VIDEO HERE.
Enjoy, for this is undoubtedly the first, last and only time you'll ever see an 18 year old camwhore drunkenly dildo herself directly in front of her disapproving mom. In a word... FAP. Profile HERE.
Whore #3 is quite adorable. She may not speak a lick of English, but her facial expressions certainly have a story to tell.. namely "ouch, that hurts", "please hurry up" and "why in the fuck did I quit my job at Hotdog On A Stick for this shit". Live and learn baby. SOURCES: 1. 2, 3, 4, 5.
This is legendary pipe layer Big Red, most notable for his 7 inch penis and it's not-so-cervix-friendly curvature. The end result tends to involve women screaming louder than Warwick Davis after the release of box office figures on Leprechaun 4: In Space. MORE HERE.
Heads up kids, this one's gonna blow your fuckin yamaka away. It involves gummy bears, Rocky-inspired butthole punching, and an Alien 1 chest-burster reenactment so brutal you just might soil your Fruit of the Loom's. DOWNLOAD FULL VIDEO HERE.
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since the time my 19 y/o housekeeper cried 'no es bueno' after happening upon my unflushed shitter. Day before was Olive Garden night, fuckin Tour Of Italy. To quote Lil Wayne - I made it rain. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.
This is a repost, except it's twice as long and much better quality. I got a dozen emails from people wanting to see the whole thing, so here it is. Fap away.
