Nevermind the fact that he looks like he lost his virginity to a Hulk Hogan body pillow. I just wanna know why he went for The Baltimore Handshake when another $20 would have gotten him fast-lane access to clam city.
LIFE LESSON #237: If someone uses the word negotiable in their Craigslist ad - move the fuck on to the next one or prepare to doomsday prep on Valtrex & Clorox bleach. Discounts are temporary. War-torn genitals arent.
Bitch looks like Velma Dinkly crossbred with a piece of asparagus and has deflated whoopie cushions for tits to boot - how does life get any worse? Becomming a communal sex toy for the YMCA. That's how. Parts 2-6
How many times have I said sweet mother of Hulk Hogan, Asians are fucking crazy? Seventy nine. How many times did I actually mean it? ZEER-OH... until today. Grab some industrial-strength sling hooks and drop-ship her ass into southern California. Boom, problem solved.
Somewhere between the British chivalry, and the main star having a more objectionable gunt than the NFL draft, I've lost the desire to masturbate. But one things for sure: Buzzfeed's loathsome content has officially been 1-upped.
Everyone has a gift. Rocco Siffredi's is the ability to talk genital-damaged, emotionally-bankrupt women right back into the buttfuck scene that broke 'em in the first place. Watch in amazement how fast he works.
Meet deum0s. She has a look that could score mucho dollerinos in the corporate side of Instagram but she passed on that to pursue the better things in life... like getting fucked to the soundtrack of Saw II. NAWICE.
An old acquaintance at the local waffle hut once told me being hung like an antelope actually sucks. He said the only women that can take it to the base consider McNuggets an essential food group. Is that what's going on here?
If you're the type of guy that gets enjoyment out of industrial-strength sex toys reconfiguring a few brain cells, this is the video for you. Not really your style? Feel free to take a look at this instead.
Some people have no business in porn. Namely fat people, horses and that dumb cunt from Teen Mom. Today the blacklist gets a little longer with the introduction of this innocuous fucktard. He has the sexual prowess of a catatonic sloth and acting skills so bad Dolph Lundgren's head would implode. Download the full video here.
Macrophilia is the fetish of giants. Typically with borderline gay beta-male playing the "smaller" part and being dominated, or even being eaten by giantesses (female giants). What is this, I don't even?
This guy is awesome. Shitty gas station job? No problem. He's getting blowjobs in the back while your picking out snickers and then he's outback smoking dabz with the neighborhood kids cause fuck it, yolo.
She loves getting fucked in the ass + she's totally gorgeous with a banging body, but most importantly... She LOVES getting fucked in the ass. The guy just sits back with an erection of amazement and she just butt fucks herself with his cock. It's beautiful.
The downside of being 24 and still living at home? Besides the 7:00AM line for toaster strudel, every time you're about to evacuate some homemade alfredo sauce onto your GF's back, momma comes a' knockin.
I can only imagine the lead up to this, but his girlfriend is a real keeper for going along with his crazy ass plan to film their "extreme" anal session, complete with a friggin go-pro strapped to his forehead. This is the stuff heroes are made of.
Much like that fat guy from Lost after a 14 hour stay at Souplantation, this woman has had her fill. But DeDimitrius Black thrusts on, ignoring her tearful pleas for cease-fuckery. The end result is an incredible forced orgasm, followed by a delightful 'fuck you'. Fun starts at the 3 min mark.
Conversate with live, naked, barely legal teens that'll beckon to your every wish and desire... all for a cost equivalent to the value of an autographed picture of Cuba Gooding Jr. - fucking nothing. Can't beat free pussy.