Japanese Porn Is FUCKING CRAZY

British Women are Insufferable

I never understood it. The idea of penetrating a chain-smoking ex-con bus driver with 2 blob fish bolted to her chest may work for some of you jabronis in the western world - but not me. I have standards.

Public Degeneracy Volume 11

Dog The Bounty Hunter once told me the daywalker is one of, if not the most elusive creature on our planet. Decades of evolution have molded them to be some sort of cockroach/human hybrid. You'd think their survival skills would be S-tier, but all I got out of this was a lower credit score.

Japan's Got Talent

Some "feels" I'm glad I will never experience: polio vaccinations, pap smears, and the Simon Cowell of konichiwa porn demanding I GO DEEPER in front of an arena full of r/fedora moderators.

The Caught Compilation 19

Everything in life has a proper explanation if you open your mind. Except the homie trying to scrub daddy his dirty walnut on a Tuesday afternoon in broad daylight around the 1:45 mark. NORAD will hear about this.

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 7

Saw X will be out by the time this is posted. You can't name 5 ways it's better than this. #bet

Incest Porn Finally Goes too Far

Overzealous producer does the unthinkable: Asks his lead actress to inhale a blob of her own mother's farm-fresh protein. But instead of saving a minisecule amount of self-respect for her own golden years, she chows down like the Amazon gift card they paid her with was worth it. #HUMILIATION

85 Pound Nerd Masturbates @ Work

This girl is ridiculously cute. I want to hold her hand. I want to smell her hair. I want a 3x5 inch cut-out of the computer chair fabric that was blessed with her vaginal discharge. Until then, this gem will have to do.

Would Not Hit

Much like Robocop 1-3, this goes from mildly erotic to fucking horrible pretty darn fast. Tipping point involves a Cambodian that apparently tried to high-five a weed wacker.

Bad Times at Ling's Massage Parlor

See that rush of fear around the 3:00 mark? That's the kind of reaction second only to a man that has miscalculated his maximum capacity for P.F. Changs Orange Chicken in a public venue. And I think that's something we can all relate to. L, OH, fuckin L

The Most Embarrassing Public Ejaculation Ever

A run of the mill twerking competition is won in an epic land slide when little miss hair extensions makes the guy jizz himself. For her legendary feat Shaquanda is awarded the illustrious title and like fitty bucks.

THEY JUST WATCHED?

Flipper Boy

He may be mentally challenged and physically deformed to the point of handicap, but he's had a threesome and I haven't. A true inspiration to all and possibly the anti-hero our generation needs.