He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.
Those crazy porn directors have made a full movie featuring the entire systematic sexual conditioning of ones daughter into a fuck buddy. All in magnificent POV. Disturbing? Sure. But is it fappable?
There's only two people on Earth that should never be caught fishing for brown trouts: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Tide Pods' phase, and this chick. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for eFukt.
Inside an abandoned and/or bombed out building, Alfredo, the HIV immune crackwhore whisperer, has negotiated some condomless butt sex from the neighborhoods most ratchet cum dumpster.
FORNICATION: It's pretty basic stuff. But for Goober McAutismo over here it might as well be mission impossible. What you're about to see may quite possibly be the worst excuse for sexual entertainment that's ever made it online... and that's coming from someone who sat through all 74 minutes of Edward Penishands. Twice.
An awkward 120 LB man-child thinks he has what it takes to make his porn debut with a pornstar that can't math. But even with the deer in headlights look in his eyes, he somehow pulls off the incredible.
What's life's greatest mystery? god? aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade?
Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.
You know what you get when you cast a guy that looks like he still gets the crust cut off his peanut butter and banana sandwiches? Believability mother fucker, that's what. Remove the Bangbros logo and scatter a few Star Wars Amibos in the background and I would have defended it's authenticity until the end of time.
At this point, self-aware cousin fuckers really deserves their own sub-genre. Decades of inbreeding and limiting toothbrush ownership to 1-per-household has carved itself into a niche that I can only describe as recession proof Walmart porn. Ohio sends it's regards.
Oi vey, a lost little boy with a shaved ass hops on the bang bus to get seduced and humiliated by a porn goddess. She plays with him like he is just her own personal dreidel of lulzy love.
A near senile senior citizen has the best day of his life at the expense of aspiring pornstar "Jane Doe", who realizes somewhere after the 2:00 mark, that porn just isn't for her and was never seen again.
