[what you know]: Anyone that's had a TV on after 1:00AM between the years 1997 and 2003 are still trying to get this fucking theme song out of their heads. [what you don't know]: Doug "hobgoblin" Stanhope had the approachability of post-nut clarity Clint Howard. I demand a reboot.
Much like Tyler Perry going 30 seconds without filming a Medea movie, you can literally see the rage in this chick's eyes. Emphasis on the 0:34 mark with the realization that the $17.50 she just made will barely cover the Clearasil bill.
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since the time my 19 y/o housekeeper cried 'no es bueno' after happening upon my unflushed shitter. Day before was Olive Garden night, fuckin Tour Of Italy. To quote Lil Wayne - I made it rain.
Dude's 18, doesn't know what a clitoris is and weighs less than Ally McBeal. But in the land of fuck-4-a-buck, all that really matters is the size of your Churro... and proportionately speaking, this dude's got a fat one. Emphasis on proportions. Looks like a banana glued to a fucking toothpick.
I'll go ahead and pass on the van life vibes half of these participants are exhibiting, but it's still better than what passes for the norm today: Cosplaying as a gAmEr guRL that rations bathwater for tier-3 subscribtions and "whoopsies" her way through milk toast sexual acts. Pay close attention to that last clip my ever growing OF creators: This is the content we want.
Semi-homeless degenerate gets caught 4 strokes away from superstardom only to be met with the full force of a Starbucks-fueled Karen, ultimately sending his hardon to the boner graveyard. We've all seen it before. BUT, the big game hunter at the 2:15 mark? That predator deserves it's own week on The Discovery Channel.
It's funny, after a while you realize they are just like normal people. Only totally insane. Prolly from fapping over and over everyday, hours on end for sophisticated gentlemen like "BigDickRick", "TruckerSteve", and "NarutoFan76".
At this point, self-aware cousin fuckers really deserves their own sub-genre. Decades of inbreeding and limiting toothbrush ownership to 1-per-household has carved itself into a niche that I can only describe as recession proof Walmart porn. Ohio sends it's regards.
AKA "The Ted Bundy Sex Doll Treatment". She was carefully sculpted by the loving hands of a master craftsmen. Made to be life like, made to look real, made for your loser uncle to fornicate with. Made to be destroyed. SAUCE.
The infamous scene that would ultimately end the Tour de Anus otherwise known as Jessie Roger's run as a pornstar. Her body would suffer more abuse than an uncooked piece of beef in front of Gordon Ramsay... but was it rly enough to force early retirement? u tell me, bruh.
