Uber Hot Dork Learns How To Masturbate

1,374,614 views
Uploaded Feb 12, 2012

There's two things I truly value in life: 1.) Arby's coupons and 2.) sexually inexperienced women, like this chick. Tack on the fact that she weighs 100 pounds and likes to snack on her own love juice and I'd say this is damn near the closest I've ever come to falling in love with something displayed on my CRT monitor, save for maybe Tetris. PROFILE HERE.

Girlfriend today, Wife tomorrow

Girlfriend today, Wife tomorrow

Esophogous mericlessly smashed at the hands of someone channeling their inner Nacho Vidal. Likely won't be able to eat solids for a week. No, this isn't my review of Holly Holm/Misha Tate. It's webster's officially definition of a 'mother fuckin KEEPER'.

25,191 06.25.16 DP
Dude Upstages Limp Dick Friend

Dude Upstages Limp Dick Friend

1 man does in 90 seconds what his wingman couldn't dream of with a cock ring and 2 handfuls of cocaine. Ferrari fast and lungs-deep. Check out 2:58. His look says "hurry up shit weasel, Game of Thrones is on in 5 min".

24,958 06.23.16 DP LULZ