There's a very thin line between making love and balls-deep cornholio slaughterage. Where that line lies, I do no know, but I can sure as fuck tell you this greasy Estonian faggot sure as fuck crossed it.
Perhaps my logic is flawed, but you'd think a girl with a b-hole no bigger than a marble would be against back door admittance. But as you can see she's either a witch, or her rectal cavity is in fact David Copperfield.
Skip to the 1.10 mark. Even when she's piss drunk, blondie still has her concerns about possible stank seeping out of Twat Town. Cant fault her for being a considerate lover. If half the women I've ate out cared this much about hygiene, I'd still have taste buds.
It's hard being a single mom, after the drug addicted father of her retarded son took off, she just doesn't have any time to herself. So when it comes to mommy getting her dick, she does it while keeping an eye on her little bundle of special.
Take a girl with some obvious daddy issues, throw her in a room with some pussy hungry guys who are into brutality, and what do you get? A very happy and very sore vagina. I think we should give them weapons for round 2. MORE HERE
The legend returns in full pussy punishing force. Watch part one: HERE and come back to learn his secret on how he tricked over 100+ women into letting him plank-fuck them on film without paying. MORE HERE + Discuss here.
When it's a girl's first time doing hardcore porn and she's too nervous on camera to put two syllables together, you get what I imagine to be the closest experience to fucking a corpse you can have without taking a trip to the morgue. Luckily the awkwardness only makes me harder. FULL VIDEO HERE.
It's always rough times for busted drug addicted cum dumpsters. Learn what it really takes to become a professional sexual punching bag for the below average Joe willing to risk STD's for cheap sex. MORE HERE.
Any college girl can pull off a DP, but to pull off near mythical feats of penetration you need a chick that's on a whole other level of promiscuous. Take Malibu Barbie over here, she can't even tell how many cocks are in her at any given time. FULL MOVIE HERE.
Dude's 18, doesn't know what a clitoris is and weighs less than Ally McBeal. But in the land of fuck-4-a-buck, all that really matters is the size of your Churro... and proportionately speaking, this dude's got a fat one. Emphasis on proportions. Looks like a banana glued to a fucking toothpick. DOWNLOAD HERE.
It's hard being a 425 pound Mexican pornstar with a cock comparable to that of a newborn Chinchilla. Everyday you risk a potential heart attack, difficulty wiping your ass after dropping a deuce and.. oh yeah, completely fucking missing during a facial scene despite being quite literally 3 centimeters away. Ay, Carumba! MORE HERE.
For the greater good of porn these basement dwelling wannabe's need the Lassie treatment. These guys thinking they have what it takes to be porn stars makes as much sense as the story line for "Sharknado". FULL SCENES HERE.
Meet the overly intoxicated attention whore at the party. She's a 6/10, blowing .08 now and anyone willing later. She left right after this, I hope she didn't drive. Might of left with some guy...whatever. Better her ass getting rear ended than my Honda. DOWNLOAD HERE.
My biggest turn on ever is Asian girls with stupid adorable accents and at least a B cup. This one ups the ante and sets a new standard. Kind of like Subways new Fritos stuffed crunchy chicken enchilada melt. I gotta get me one of those! FULL VIDEOS HERE.
Some "feels" I am glad I will never experience in life. Child birth, menstrual cramps, bamboo fingernail torture, or when a unlubed and unwelcomed penis randomly kicks open the door to the house of pain. FULL VIDEOS HERE - 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
The finest collection of eardrum destroying, vomit inducing orgasms you'll wish you never saw. Emphasis on the whole wishing you never saw this shit part. One dude nuts so hXc that he actually ruptures a fucking blood vessel and spurts red. 2.15 mark. You've been warned.
He's 18, shops at Tilly's, listens to Rise Against and is a full time connoisseur of pussy older than Jesus; A sexual 'Rambo' of the nursing homes if you will. Extreme caution advised. This will probably ruin your day and/or life. MORE GRANDMA DESTRUCTION HERE.
Jackass-inspired stunt involving a weapons-grade slingshot and some cactus goes horribly right when the target, (a gypsy woman's anus), is met with a direct hit. And now I'm met with a direct boner. Circle of life. FULL VIDEO HERE.
The smile this dude gives off whilst getting his first dick-suck is fucking priceless. Worthy of it's own emoticon. Same goes for the someone-just-farted-in-my-face expression he exhibits once he realizes said blowjob has ended. Every 15 frames lies a Kodac moment. FULL VIDEO HERE
Getting blown by a cute oriental girl.... what could possibly take priority over that? My list is a short one and sitting in a dark room while watching another man masturbate sure as fuck isn't on it. But for this duo, the agenda is a wee bit different.
If there's a book out there on what NOT to do during intercourse, I'd say this dude just paved the way for a fucking trilogy. Nevermind his Rosie O'Donnell-like figure, or his unsettling fetish for floppy disks. The real prize is at the 2.48 mark. Ladies and gentleman, this motherfucker just single-handedly brought back Planking. Download here + discuss here.
I've heard a lot of desperate men say a lot of desperate shit just to keep their cocks submerged in teen sphincter.. but to essentially give a girl the greenlight to defecate on your penis just to avoid a 3 min. potty break? That's a level of dedication I hope to never know. FULL VIDEO HERE!.
There's 3 things that simply no longer exist in my world: 1.) pornography induced erections 2.) positive feedback on my 'this is what a feminist looks like' tee and 3.) dinners at P.F. Changs that do NOT result in 1st degree burns to my anus. This vid solved 2 outta 3. FULL VIDEO HERE.